The Great Adventure of Meta Knight
by coleypepwars3679
Summary: Once upon a time, everybody had a normal day. It was quite normal until Waddle Doo warned the people of Nightmare having a plot. And so, the good citizens of Dream Land stopped Nightmare from putting it in action. Rated K-PLUS because there's barf, obnoxious teenagers, and... i dunno...
1. The Laughter: Part 1

It was a boring, average day.

Meta Knight was doing what he did on every average day. He got up, put on his armor and mask and whatever he put on, went to the bathroom, ate his breakfast, (mainly composed of French fries, apple cider, and a melted cheese sandwich.) sneaked some candy, and more stuff.

After all that, Meta Knight went out to Pupu village/Cappytown, and sneaked (very sneakily) to the candy shop.

He stared longingly at a particularly tasty looking lollipop which was being displayed in the front window, and then he slipped away before anyone could see him.

While he was slipping away, however, Meta Knight heard something coming from the castle.

So, he went over to King Dedede's castle to investigate what was happening.

Along the way to his room, he spotted King Dedede and Escargoon.

Dedede was shifting around being sneaky, and Escargoon looked indifferent.

Meta Knight watched them, while his eyes turned pink at the sight of Dedede being sneaky and Escargoon looking indifferent.

When Dedede and Escargoon noticed him, the fat penguin stared at him, threw a waffle in his face, and started running as hard as he possibly could. Escargoon looked at the shrinking figure in the distance, looked at Meta Knight, and started walking after King Dedede like the irregular snail he is.

Meta Knight decided to ignore Dedede's behavior, picked up the fallen waffle, and walked in the direction of his room. When he got to his room, he heard the sound of laughter. Holding up the waffle just in case, Meta Knight slowly opened the door.

Inside the depths of Meta Knight's room, Sword and Blade were laughing. They were laughing a lot. In fact, they were rolling on the floor, smacking their bottoms, and tickling each other for MORE laughter. They were so deep in their great fit of laughing that they didn't notice that Meta Knight opened the door. He stared at the two for a few seconds.

Looking at the waffle in his hand, Meta Knight decided that he should take some action. He aimed, and fired. It was a direct hit. Sword and Blade both looked up at him. Instantly, they started laughing even harder.

Meta Knight started to wonder if he should be concerned about them or not.

And then, a large, oversized roll of toilet paper landed on Meta Knight. Meta Knight took it in his hand and stared at it. It looked fluffy. Meta Knight had a sudden urge to go line his bed with it. The urge was overpowering what he currently wished to do, which was to make a sandwich for himself. So, Meta Knight went to go line his bed with the fluffy toilet paper.

THE END OF THE CHAPTER.

**A/N.**

_It's my first story ever._

_And it will be a big story._

_With randomness._

_Enough with the fragments, and you must review it. For less fragments._

**DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMS:** I do not own Kirby. Or Meta Knight. Or any other Kirby character. I never will, ever. Nintendo owns Kirby. And Meta Knight too.


	2. I'm not going to call this chapter TL

The whole bed was covered in toilet paper. Meta Knight looked at his messy toilet paper creation, looked at himself, and decided that he needed to take a shower because if he didn't, all the dust from the toilet paper would pile up in his lungs and he would die a horrible death. So, Meta Knight took a shower, because if he didn't, blah blah blah yada yada.

King Dedede was still running and screaming. Escargoon was still chasing him with a fried apple that he found under a shaver. Suddenly, King Dedede stopped running and screaming for a second.

Escargoon finally got to catch up to him. He was surprisingly fast for a snail.

"Escargoon," said King Dedede, "Why are we chasing each other and screaming and holding fried apples?"

"That's an interesting question."

"I know. I'm such a genius because I can ask interesting questions."

"No, you're not."

Their boring conversation went like that for a while. It was awfully boring. The two started to yawn from the boringness of their boring conversation.

"I'm bored." Dedede yawned.

"I'm bored too ya knucklehead."

"I know! Let's go to Meta Knight's room and bother him!"

"Well, if there's nothing better to do…"

So, they walked and slithered over to Meta Knight's room. As they neared the door, they heard laughter. So much laughter. It was an impossibly large amount of laughter. The duo opened the door only to see Sword and Blade laughing uncontrollably. They were bumping into each other, checking to see if their heads were still on, and doing barrel rolls without even trying.

In the background, they could hear a slight noise of water sloshing around, and someone was clearly singing.

"What are you laughing about?" Of course, Dedede wanted to join in for whatever reason they were laughing.

"Listen to what Meta Knight's singing!" Blade Knight burst in between giggles.

King Dedede and Escargoon listened like they had never listened before.

_"La la la la laaaa!  
__I don't know any songs  
__But I'm singing this song  
__Because I made it up!  
__La La la la la la!_

_"OH YEAH.  
__I just discovered that the sentence  
__OH YEAH  
__Is not a sentence  
__It's a fragment!_  


_"I hope nobody's hearing me!  
__Because if they did  
__I would not like that!  
__And if Dedede heard it_

_"I would be the most  
__Humiliated puffball  
__In the world  
__Probably the entire galaxyyyy!"_  


By this point, Dedede and Escargoon were smacking their own bottoms. Don't ask me how Escargoon smacked his butt, I don't even know how he did that. Snails don't have butts as far as I know.

"He sings so terribly!" King Dedede snorted.

"Let's just roll around laughing as we've nothing better to do." Sword suggested.

"Good idea!"

And so, they rolled around laughing as they had nothing better to do.

A few hours later, Meta Knight emerged from the bathroom without his armor and his mask on. In other words, he was naked. He stared at the laughing people who were so deep in their laughing that they didn't notice he was very naked. Not realizing that, he fled the scene, very conveniently leaving his armor and his mask and his cape in the bathroom.

**END OF THE CHAPTER**

_Are you sad that the chapter ended?_

_I'm not._

_There's going to be more chapters._

_Also, the song's horrible, isn't it? I made it up just now._

**DISCLAIMER IS DISCLAIMING: ** I don't own Kirby. If I did, this would be an official Kirby book in some Nintendo store. Think about it.


	3. TL isn't a very good name

**Keep in mind that I'm using the English-ish names. I watched the dub first. FOO.**

* * *

Tuff was bored.

Tiff was boring.

"Hey Tiff," said Tuff, "Let's go do something crazy."

Tiff stared at Tuff and walked in the direction of King Dedede's castle, probably going off to do something boring like the boring humanish thing she was.

Deciding that there was nothing better to do except stalk Tiff, Tuff went and started to stalk her.

When they were about halfway to the castle, they both saw a dark blue blur speeding on the path so fast it literally left trails of fire. It was screaming, too.

"Who was that?" Tuff asked without thinking.

"How'd you get here," shouted Tiff. "You stalker."

"Who cares if I was stalking you? The path is on fire!" Tuff shouted back.

"Duh!" Tiff rolled her eyes.

"Stop rolling your eyes. The PATH. Is on FIRE."

"Wait, how's the path on fire? Isn't it made out of gravel and dirt?"

"The path's on fire, so you need to get some adults."

"Why do I have do get the adults?"

"Because you're boring."

"That's no answer!"

They bickered like that for a while.  
Meanwhile, the fire went and spread to the forest.

"Oh, dear," said Whispy Woods. "The forest is on fire."

"Whatever shall we do?" Coo asked.

"I don't know. I can't do anything, as I am a tree, and as far as you and I know, trees can't do anything except stand in the soil and look grand."

"I'll get the animal friends of Kirby."

"What does Kirby have to do with anything?"

"I'll just be going now."

* * *

In a nice clearing of grass and flowers, a reasonable distance away from the woods, a blue blob of Dark Matter and a pink blob of who-knows-what-she's-made-of were having a staring contest.

"I win," said the blue blob, whose name happened to be Gooey. "You lose. Ha."

"No, _I win._" The pink blob fixed Gooey with one of her glares promising of death and doom. Her name was Chuchu.

Gooey looked at Chuchu nervously, and started to back away slowly. As he was backing away slowly, he heard a noise in the distance. He looked towards where the sound was coming from, and saw Coo flying towards them. Gooey breathed a sigh of ultimate relief that he was not going to die and be doomed.

Chuchu saw Coo as well, and she breathed a sigh of sadness that she wouldn't be able to fulfill her death-glare promise.

Very soon, Coo arrived.

"The forest's on fire!" Coo screeched in their non-existent ears.

"Fine, I'm coming," Chuchu grumbled. "It better be worth it."

Gooey instantly agreed to come with Coo, if it meant getting away from Chuchu.

* * *

In yet another place, Pitch (who is a bird) and Kine (who is a fish) were having a debate on books.

"Books are nasty," said Pitch. "They can do vile things. Cliffhangers will leave a gaping hole in your mind, never to be filled as you long for the sequel to arrive, but when the sequel finally comes, you shall gobble it up like a starving pack of wolves, and at the end of the books you will howl in despair and agony as you-"

"Too much information," interrupted Kine. "Books are nice. They give you the wonderful power of imagination."

"Imagination?" Pitch scoffed. "Who needs imagination when you have math?"

Kine sighed unhappily at the depressing thought of replacing imagination with math. Pop Star would turn square. DreamLand would turn into The Land Where We Study the Art of Mathematics. Even the thought of it made him feel sick. Really sick. So sick, he felt like he was going to…

"HELLO!" Nago yelled. He jumped out of the bushes that were near the river.

Kine threw up all over him.

"OH, GROSS!" Nago exclaimed. He went back in the bushes.

Pitch burst into laughter. "Why'd you do that?" he snickered.

Realizing what he had just done, Kine started laughing as well.

The two started laughing in a fashion similar to Sword, Blade, King Dedede, and Escargoon.

"I have an idea!" Pitch said in between his laughing. "Let's go throw a laughing party in old Dedede's castle!"

"Good idea!"

So, they went into King Dedede's castle.

* * *

**A/N**

_That was a bit long. OH WELL  
Oh and pie lover._

_I PROMISE PIES IN THE NEXT CHAPTER._

_I guarantee that there will be pies._

_This is kind of a thingy with peeps from the games AND the anime. It adds to the comedy._

_DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW IT._

_ALSO, the English dubbifiers went and messed up Waddle Doo's voice (and anybody else's voice they messed up). So imagine that his voice is in the Japanese voice. Because it's way better. ENOUGH AUTHOR'S NOTES._

**DISCLAIMER COULD BE DISCLAIMING RIGHT NOW: **Kirby is not mine. Kirby is property of Nintendo. Meta Knight is property of Nintendo as well. Also the HAL people too.


	4. Thought of a way more creative name

In the woods, there was a large fire going on. It was not very nice.

"Ha ha ha ha. I am burning down your forest," said the fire.

"Stop talking. You don't have a mouth." Chuchu scolded as she threw the contents of the water buckets in the fire. The fire considered that for a second and then stopped.

Meanwhile, Gooey was looking at a bucket and wondering about how it would taste if he licked it. _Probably like cold metal, _he thought. He licked it anyways. _Earryuck, needs salt._ He went off to get some salt.

In a few more minutes, the fire was almost put out. It wailed in agony despite the fact it had no mouth.

"WHYYYY? Why are you doing this to me? Why are you putting me out? I never did anything to harm you!" the fire yelled.

"You have no mouth." Chuchu hissed. The fire flinched in fear and eventually got put out.

"What'd I miss?" Gooey asked, bouncing in next to everybody with his salt. Everybody started to glare at him because he didn't help at all.

Suddenly, Nago emerged from the bushes, screaming.

"What's wrong?" asked Whispy Woods. "Is there another fire?"

Everyone stared at Nago as they started to notice that he was covered in spew.

"OH, GROSS! WHY ARE YOU COVERED IN SPEW?" Gooey yelled. Everybody (except Nago) glared at him again.

Nago started to back away slowly, hoping they wouldn't be sick all over him because of the grossness of the spew that was all over him.

"GET HIM!" Gooey hollered, hoping to draw the attention over to Nago. Surprisingly, it worked. Everyone (except for Whispy, as we all know trees can't do anything except stand in the soil and look grand) started to chase Nago for no apparent reason.

"AAAAAAH!" Nago screamed.

Meanwhile, Meta Knight (who was still quite naked, even though Kirby wears about as much as he is right now,) was running in the opposite direction, screaming at an equally loud volume.

They bumped into each other, fell on the dirt, glanced at the angry mob that was probably going to catch them if they didn't get up soon, got up, and started running towards Cappytown, not caring that they both had a bit of spew here and there.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" the two yelled as they ran.

* * *

In the village, it was very quiet. Nobody was outside because everyone was feeling particularly lazy and they were probably just lying around on their stomachs doing nothing.

Somewhere around the police station, Chief Bookem stepped out, sneakily looked around, and then pulled a gigantic rainbow lollipop out of his pocket. He looked around some more, and then started to lick it.

A pink blob known as Kirby peeked from around a corner.

"Poyo poyooooo?" Kirby said.

Chief Bookem stared at Kirby for a second.

"AAAAAAAAAAHH!" he yelled.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Kirby yelled back. They started screaming at each other.

Suddenly, 2 very fast blurs sped on the path and very conveniently slammed into the tree.

The angry mob, still running (and flying, in Coo's case) also slammed into the tree.

Not knowing what else to do, Chief Bookem started backing away slowly. He backed away slowly into his police station, and we probably won't see him again for a while.

Kirby stared at everybody who was lying down at the roots of the tree. They were unconscious. Deciding that he had to take matters into his own stubby little arm hand stub things, he went towards them and poked all the unconscious people. They moaned and groaned.

"Poyo!" Kirby exclaimed in wonder and fascination. He poked them some more.

Eventually, they all woke up.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!" the naked Meta Knight yelled.

Everyone stared at him, probably because they didn't ever see him with his mask off. Meta Knight glanced at them and ran off to the castle.

Nago looked at everybody, and then also ran to the castle.

"What was that all about?" asked Rick to nobody in particular.

"I don't know," said Gooey. "Let's get some cake."

The small crowd (except Kirby) moved elsewhere to get some cake. Instead of following them, Kirby ran after Meta Knight.

* * *

Meanwhile, Kine and Pitch were going to the castle to throw a laughing party. Suddenly, Pitch stopped laughing.

"I don't see the purpose in a laughing party anymore," he said. "It's dumb. Only dummies do it."

"You just want to do some math. Math is horrible," Kine objected. "If you want to do those weird math problems, then see if I care. I'll throw it myself."

"Fine," Pitch huffed. "I'll just go participate in the fine, logical art of mathematics." And so, Pitch flew away to wherever he lived to do some math problems.

Kine went along hopping. Along the way, he spotted a large mob of animal friends going the opposite direction.

"Hey!" Kine yelled at them. "Want to join me in a laughing party I'm throwing in the castle?"

"A laughing party?" the crowd said in wonder. They all started laughing at the idea of a laughing party and followed Kine.

* * *

Meta Knight was running as fast as he possibly could. He was so fast he left even more trails of fire. But those fires aren't very important in the story line. He passed Tiff and Tuff, who were still arguing.

"Even more fire?" groaned Tiff. "What's the world coming to?"

"That's not relevant to our argument," Tuff said.

"What were we even arguing about?"

"Well," said Tuff, "We were talking about how fire was possible, which led us to impossible things, then we got to licking our elbows, then about licking, then about how sometimes Kirby licks you, and then gross people, and then gross things, then underwear. Your underwear."

Tiff rolled her eyes. "Well, at least my underwear isn't half as bad as yours."

"Yeah!" Tuff agreed. "It's three times as bad!"

Tiff rolled her eyes again, and then started walking over to the castle.

"Don't even try stalking me this time!" she yelled over her shoulder. Tuff shrugged, and then commenced to stalk her once more. She didn't even notice.

* * *

Meanwhile, the animal friends arrived at the castle, still laughing.

"Where should we throw the party at?" asked Kine.

"I know! Meta Knight's room! It'll annoy him!" Gooey shouted. Murmurs of approval rose from the crowd, and they moved over to Meta Knight's room.

Sword suddenly stopped laughing.

"What is it?" asked Escargoon.

"I hear something!" whispered Sword. "I think it's a mob of people!" Cautiously, he tiptoed over to The Monument of Food (the waffle was in a glass case) and retrieved a pie. Then, he positioned himself next to the door.

A few seconds later, the door opened. Sword sidestepped in front of it, and threw the pie. It landed right on Gooey.

"PIE TO THE FACE!" Sword yelled.

Everyone started laughing all over again.

**AND SO, I END THE CHAPTER**

_Because it was taking too long. I am sorry for making you wait._

**DISCLAIMER? IT DISCLAIMS.** Kirby is not mine. Meta Knight is not mine. Kirby is property of Nintendo and HAL people. Meta Knight is too.


	5. Chimneylantern Fantasy Fungus

**STARDUST: R-REALLY? WOW... THANKS FOR YOUR AWESOME FEEDBACK! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT! I DIDN'T KNOW JUST 3 REVIEWS COULD BE SO LOVING AND GIVE KIND CRITICISM AT THE SAME TIME! THANKS AGAIN!**

* * *

_Stalking Tiff is boring. Like her._ Tuff thought. He pounced on a nearby tree, causing a couple of leaves to fall the the ground.

Tiff turned and looked at the leaves for a second. She stared at them as if they had souls to stare into. With a snooty flick of her boring hair, she turned around and began to snobbishly walk down the path.

Tuff eyed the path disgustedly. It was being tainted by her boring germs. Carefully, he lowered his head and sniffed the path. It smelled of rocks and dirt. Satisfied, Tuff leaped over to the next tree with cat-like stealth.

Tiff looked around, not noticing Tuff just on the tree branch. When she was sure nobody was in viewing range, she sneakily took out an unhealthy-looking, ginormous, rainbow lollipop and started to lick it with an equally large amount of pleasure.

Tuff snickered quietly and leaned closer, inspecting the way Tiff was eating her lollipop so that he could describe it in great detail to Kirby or anyone else who cared to listen. Suddenly, the branch he was crouching on broke off with a snapping noise that they could hear over all the way over on Halcandra.

Tiff turned around at the speed of light. "Who-" She saw Tuff on the dirt and sighed. "Oh. I should have known."

Tuff got up. "It's not what it looks like!" he said quickly.

Tiff rolled her eyes. "You're a stalker. Admit it. It's a fact of life."

Tuff ignored her and eyed the lollipop. "Where'd you get that lollipop?"

"What lollipop?"

"The gigantic lollipop you were just holding a few seconds ago."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Tuff sighed and lunged for the lolly she was holding behind her back. Tiff held it up out of his reach. "Ha! You can't reach it!" she taunted.

"Ha! You admit it! You do have a lollipop!" Tuff yelled triumphantly.

Tiff crossed her arms snootily. "Fine. I have a lollipop. So?"

"Give it to me, I need to inspect it." Tuff snatched the lollipop and looked at it closely. It had at least a thousand different colors and they all were in some weird hypnotizing spiral that made him want to look away. He looked away at Tiff. "What kind of lollipop is _this?_"

"It's a magical lollipop from the vast fields of Unicorn Land," said Tiff sarcastically. "When you lick it, rainbows emerge from the depths of your throat and then gives you the power to breathe rainbows."

"Wow, really?" Tuff breathed. He had always fancied himself flying over the village and breathing rainbows upon the residents.

"Of course not, you dummy!" Tiff whacked him with the lollipop. "Why are we even having this conversation? It's pointless."

"You say every conversation is pointless." Tuff pointed out.

"Be quiet," said Tiff. They started to walk to King Dedede's castle as they had nothing better to do.

* * *

Meta Knight ran to the castle at the speed of light to get his armor from the bathroom, causing another irrelevant-to-the-story fire on the path. A few Cappies fled his path to avoid getting run over. Soon, he reached the castle, crept into it, and sneaked along the corridors to avoid the slim possibility of getting sighted. Once he got to his door, he opened it a crack and peered inside. Sure enough, there was nobody inside. Opening the door just enough so he could creep inside, he looked around some more and stepped in the inner depths of his room. Quietly, he tiptoed behind several large furniture objects, as silent as a dead mouse. (Because live mice make too much noise.) He stepped behind the monument of food and sighted his goal: the bathroom door. It was just as near as two inches away from him. One more step and he would reach his armor, and more importantly, his mask. But as soon as he stepped out into the open, he had an unnerving feeling, as if someone, or some_thing,_ was watching him. He gave a small glance around the room, but nothing appeared to be there. Realizing that he was still naked and someone could open the door at any moment, he darted into the bathroom and locked the door.

As Meta Knight put on his mask, a menacing, dark, and haunting voice emerged from seemingly nowhere. "I see you..." it said. The unexpected creepiness made him jump. "I watch you while you sleep... I know your waking hours..." The ghost-voice-thing was starting to creep him out a little. Sensing the presence of living beings nearby, he scouted the entire restroom area. At last, he came to below the sink. Slowly, he pulled open the small door. As soon as it was opened about halfway, he felt a large gooey substance hit his mask.

"PIE TO THE FACE!" a very familiar voice shouted.

Meta Knight growled softly and peered inside to identify his attacker. Inside was Sword, Blade, and Gooey making high fives at each other. (Although Gooey didn't make any.) After a few seconds, they noticed a brownish yellowish mass looking in on them.

Innocently, Sword wiped a bit of the pie mess and licked it off his hand. "Blueberry," he said thoughtfully.

Meta Knight _hated_ blueberry. In fact, he despised it so much that he stomped out the door for no particular reason, forgetting he still had a ton of blueberry pie mush all over his mask. On his way to the halls, not looking at where he was going, he bumped into Waddle Doo, who was waving his nubs around and screaming.

"What's the matter?" asked Meta Knight.

Waddle Doo stopped screaming for a second. "Nightmare has a plot! I bet it's an EVIL plot! OH SOMEONE SAVE US!" With that, he fell over on his eye, just on the tip of Meta Knight's shoe, which happened to be a bit pointy. He commenced screaming in agony.

"What are you doing?" Meta Knight eyed the writhing blob.

"Nothing, nothing," said Waddle Doo. He dusted himself off and walked away with sophistication.

Meta Knight stared after the spherical cyclops suspiciously, the slightest bit startled by his speedy recovery. He leaned on the door frame, thinking about philosophy and such. Suddenly, he felt something splatter on his back, and whipped around at the speed of lightning.

On the floor there were the animal friends, Sword and Blade, and a bunch of Cappies nobody cared about laughing hysterically. The sight of them giggling about the pie mush made Meta Knight livid. He just stood there silently fuming, slightly resisting the urge to slice them all in half with Galaxia until he heard the sound of people approaching. Noticing he looked the exact opposite of calm and collected, he stood up a little straighter and turned to face the intruders of his diminishing privacy.

Before him stood the not-quite-so-tall-at-all figures of Tiff and Tuff.

"I heard Waddle Doo screaming," Tiff said in a sophisticated manner. "What happened?"

"He said that Nightmare had a plot. He bet that it was an evil plot. He started screaming in agony after he fell over onto my shoe which was a bit pointy and-"

"All right, we get it," Tiff said in a superior tone. "You can stop going on and on and on and on..."

Suddenly, Kirby burst into the room, landing on top of Meta Knight. "POYO!" he yelled right on Meta Knight's face.

"Correction," Meta Knight said. "We are not going, that was probably an April Fools prank, and we are NOT taking the Halberd. Definitely not. Never. Negative. Access denied."

Kirby cast his eyes to the ground. "Poyo..." he said quietly, dragging his feet on the floor. He looked up at Meta Knight, a single light of hope gathering in the blue depths of his eyes.

"FINE..." Meta Knight groaned.

**AND SO, THE CHAPTER ENDS**

_Once again, I apologize for all of you having to wait a billion years for my horrible updating speeds. REVIEW RESPONSE IN CAPS FTW! EHEHEHHEEH I LOVE MAKING PEOPLE OOC._

**PIE? NO. DISCLAIMER****?** **YES**. **Kirby, Meta Knight, Sword, Blade, the Cappies, Waddle Doo, Tiff, and Tuff are NOT owned by me. Definitely not. Never. Negative. Access denied.**


	6. Did you like that other name?

The great Halberd loomed in front of a lot of faces. There were a bunch of eager expressions, frightened faces, gloomy gazes, and some other facial expressions I'm too lazy to mention.

Tuff and Kirby were sucking on some lollipops that Kirby had _persuaded_ Meta Knight to get.

Also, Pitch had sneaked in, probably thinking that Meta Knight had some math books hidden somewhere in there.

Suddenly, Sir Whatshisname stepped forward. "I, Sir (Whateverhisnameis), officially declare that my lineage shall be absolutely not be escorted by the Sir Knight of Meta to his quest of sorts."

Meta Knight stared at him. Then, the Sir Whose Name I Forgot sprouted wings and flew into the skies, never to be seen again. But alas, nobody cared.

"Well, since he's gone, I guess I'll still have to take _you,_" said Meta Knight, leaning in to stare at Tiff, hoping she'd fly away too. But alas, Tiff took this as a sign he wanted some romance, which he absolutely did not. So Tiff puckered her horrible, horrible lips at Meta Knight.

"BLARGH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" Meta Knight jumped from his epic pose to stare at Tiff even more. If he wanted to, he could stare for a few days. But alas, they had to get on his Halberd. _Then_ he could stare at her.

* * *

**MEANWHILE IN NIGHTMARE'S LAIR**

Nightmare was playing golf. "It's a lovely day!" he sang joyfully, skipping and shooting his ball-golf-thingy across the field with no skill at all. Why is he playing golf, you ask? Why is he singing and skipping, you ask also?

Well, it was because he had bumped his head somewhere, and lost his memory. _No!_ you are saying. _Why? How?_ I can't tell you. I don't know everything. Do you know the square root of milk? No? See, even you don't know everything. Now, back to the story.

Nightmare soon got bored singing and skipping and composing love haiku in his mind. It was all quite boring, anyway. For no particular reason, he decided to visit his lovely little children. He stopped by some of them. "Hello! Hello! Isn't life lovely? You're all looking wonderful today!"

His lovely "children" stared at him for a second, suspecting he was drunk again. Remembering the creepy pink room with posters and pinkness and dolls everywhere, they decided to run for it. It was a wise decision.

"Bye bye!" Nightmare called, waving at them. Moments later, two Waddle Dees who we'll just call Waddle X and Dee X bumped into him.

To their horror, Nightmare looked down at them with delight. "Hello!"

The Waddle Dees tried to back away slowly, also suspecting he was drunk. But alas, Nightmare scooped them up and hugged them.

"We'll be friends forever and ever and ever!" he cried joyfully, squeezing their soft Waddle Dee bodies.

Waddle X and Dee X looked at each other solemnly from their abominable trap, and they both knew that the day would be horrid. And so would the rest of their lives, probably.

* * *

**BACK TO THE HALBERD**

Soon, the Halberd took off, some of its passengers either screaming at the shrinking village, looking for the kitchen, settling down with a boring book, going to the library to look for math, etc. And so, the very very very very very very very very long voyage for Nightmare's lair began.

END OF ZE CHAPITOR

**A/N**_ I wrote most of this VERY SHORT one in my underwear. Underwear is the key to success._

**A GARDENER GARDENS. A SPEAKER SPEAKS. AND A DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMS: K, MK, NME, T, T, WD, SE, and everyone else belongs to HAL L and N and WHOEVER made 'em all. Not M.**


	7. Man I am so obsessed with SONIC X

"Ahhhh," Meta Knight breathed a sigh of pure joy as he released_— _hold on, we're in the bathroom! Ugh, that's gross... You know what? Forget that ever happened.

Meanwhile, Pitch was in the library, searching upon the large place for math books. Then, he spotted one. It was titled, _Dream Land: Soon To Be Math Land_. Pitch stared at its magnificence, practically drooling. With his unworthy wings, he picked up the book, and selected a conveniently placed table to put it on. His entire body trembling in awe, he lifted the cover of the tome, revealing the introduction. Pitch leaned forward in anticipation, setting his eyes on the words before him. Then, he remembered: He couldn't read. Rats.

In the kitchen, Kirby gasped in awe at the wonders that were lying before him. There was tons of food, and they were all meant just for him! He opened the fridge, and almost fainted at how much food there was. It was paradise! There were watermelons, grapes, breads, fish, meat, salmon, potatoes, tomatoes, and maybe millions more! He closed the fridge and floated up to the cupboards. Inside those were tons of tea, tons of sugar, tons of salt, and tons of everything! It was genuinely awesome. With one breath, Kirby sucked everything up. Then he went to the bathroom to tell Meta Knight that they'd run out of food, there was nothing left, and that they were all gonna die._  
_

Pitch flew out of the library to make someone read the book for him. He bumped into Kirby. "Kirby, my good man!" Pitch said in delight. "Would you be so kind as to read something for me?"

Kirby considered it. "Poyo," he stated. "Poyo poyo poyoyoyooyyoo poypo poyayaoy poyaoyp poyo POYOAP POYO POYP OPOYPO POYO!"

Pitch stared at Kirby in shock and wonder. He didn't know that Kirby was so regal and refined. He watched Kirby walk down the hall past him, occasionally tripping and falling flat on his face. But he did it in such style.

Pitch flew around to pursue someone of lower class. Then, he spotted Kine. He flew over to him. "Hello!" said Pitch.

Kine turned around. "Oh, it's you," he said in dismay. "I thought you were doing math problems? And what are you even doing here?"

"You see," stated Pitch, "I have tagged along to your party to refine my math skills. And it just so happens that I have a slight dilemma! Would you be so kind as to help me as brothers?"

Kine groaned. "What is it?"

"It's the tiniest problem. I don't know how to read! Will you teach me?" Pitch said.

"What? Seriously?! You don't know how to read? Then how'd you read the cover of the-"

"Sshhh, the fourth wall is at stake," said Pitch.

"Oh, yeah," said Kine. "The fourth wall. Interesting, I feel a necessity to bust it down."

"Zip it and help me read, it's part of the plot." Pitch said.

"And also, have you noticed? The author is too lazy to make us say anything other than 'said'." said Kine.

Just then, the two heard a noise. They turned around and saw a letter on a ground. Kine picked it up and read it. It said,

_SHUT UP! Sincerely, the author._

"What a brilliant message!" said Pitch in delight.

"You can't read, remember? And you know, the author is also too lazy to... Uh, I can't think of anything that the author is too lazy to make us do! Or not do! Or whatever!" exclaimed Kine.

"See, it's a sign. It's a sign that the author is too lazy to make you note anything that.. Wait, this is confusing me. That means the author is also confused!" Pitch said.

"This is confusing!" Kine wailed.

"Wait, what?"

And they would've gone on like that forever if Tiff hadn't passed by and criticized their conversation!

"Like, what do you losers think you're doing?" said Tiff.

"She's going through a phase..." Kine whispered.

"It's going to be a very painful phase, I can feel it." Pitch whispered back.

"To her?"

"No, to us." Pitch nodded.

Kine nodded back. Pitch nodded back to him. They nodded at each other.

Tiff stared at them in disgust, flicked open her brand new uPhone 47, and began to chat with her online boyfriend. "Like, hello?" she said in a very teenagers today-ish way. "I'm, like, on a ship! And not just any ship, it's like, the Halberd! You heard me, the Halberd! I'll send you, like, a photo, 'kay? Also, I'll send you a photo of these two idiots nodding at each other. It's, like, totally pointless! I'd rather listen to, um, like, Two Directions? Or Austin Kieber? Did I mention, I'm on, like, the latest edition of uPhone? It's like brand new! Anyways, I'll talk to you later. I've got, like, things to do!" She hung up and walked away.

Kine stared. "That... That was terrifying."

"Agreed," Pitch agreed. "Wanna go stalk her and see what she does next?"

"Yes, then we shall record her phase and put it up on Metube!" Kine said enthusiastically.

They both nodded.

**END OF THE SHORT CHAPTER. I WAS PLANNING TO MAKE IT LONGER BUT THE WAIT WAS LONGER BUT IDK** ANYMORE SO **YEAH**  
_OH MY GOSH I AM SUCH A DESPICABLE HUMAN BEING... jk  
*crawls back under boulder to watch Sonic X*_

**DISCLAIMER DISCLAIMS LIKE THE DISCLAIMER IT IS: KIRBY = NINTENDO AND HAL**


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